


binary stars

by ratsbeforebrats



Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Tifa Lockhart needs a hug, Unconscious Cloud Strife, aerith is her light, allusions to tragedy, but not actually lmao whoops, if you know you know, tifa is just very gay and sad okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24758983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratsbeforebrats/pseuds/ratsbeforebrats
Summary: The Gongagan cemetery is illuminated in the moonlight. The darkness is a canvas, and a picture is painted before Tifa’s eyes.Patches of soil in different shades of brown and grey. Flowers, in dozens of blues and yellows and reds and greens. Shadows cast by aging, cracked headstones. All washed out in a white light.A figure. Long, brown hair loosely braided, all tied up in a red bow. A plain, pink dress. Eyes hidden behind closed lids that Tifa can see without seeing. Generations of loss and longing. Tifa’s own pillar of warmth, security, and childish love. Aerith.Aerith tries to leave for the City of the Ancients without saying goodbye. Tifa is not having it.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart
Comments: 14
Kudos: 73





	binary stars

**Author's Note:**

> hello, this is my first fanfic.
> 
> i've loved the orginal final fantasy vii since i was a kid, and i've loved the final fantasy vii remake for the ~two months since it's come out at the time of writing this. i got this idea after playing them both more or less back to back lmao so here it is
> 
> title comes from 'god & the billboards' by aaron west and the roaring twenties

The night air of Gongaga stunk of Mako. It had for the better part of a decade. The quaint little town was only one of many that had lived, for a time, under the thumb of Shinra Inc.. When Shinra's precious Mako Reactor had exploded, the Gongagan people were swiftly abandoned by the company. The area was no longer profitable, after all. The population was devastated. Their resources were all but drained. The town was left to rot in the oppressive shadow of the ruined reactor. It was a story all too common in those days. The stench of Mako never dissipated in places like this. Tifa should know.

Tifa Lockhart sits at Cloud's bedside. She's been here since Barret had carried his unconscious frame from the Tiny Bronco into town. Since their return from the Temple of the Ancients. Since...

The explanation of what had happened came to her in frantic bits from Cid and Cait Sith. _The Ultimate Destructive Magic, Meteor. Sephiroth proclaiming himself a god. Cloud handing the Black Materia over to him. Cloud attacking Aerith. Cloud…_

Cloud is in a restless state of sleep at the Gongaga Inn. His mouth twitches into a scowl. His shoulders tense. His hands close into fists intermittently. Tifa wishes she could put him at ease, but she has no idea what’s going on in that spiky head of his. None of them do.

Tifa looks down at her dear friend, this boy she’s known her entire life, and begins to wonder if she really knows him at all. She had sensed that there was something off about him. She’d known from the very beginning of this whole mess. She’d silently promised herself that she would ‘keep an eye on him’. _Keep an eye on him._ What good had that done him? She feels like she has a piece of the puzzle that she’s been keeping from everyone, especially the boy himself. This thought makes her conscience flood with guilt. If she had insisted on going along on the expedition to the Temple, as Aerith had, would she have been able to change the outcome? Was there anything she could have done differently?

_No,_ she thinks. Aerith had been there, after all. If _she_ couldn’t snap Cloud back to reality, what could Tifa have done? Aerith seemed to have a way of reaching Cloud that Tifa just couldn’t understand. He would worry himself into a frenzy, and Aerith would just smile softly, or place a hand on his arm, say “it’s okay,” and he would calm down. She would giggle teasingly at his tough guy dramatics and he would loosen up. Tifa could see that Cloud had formed a unique bond with the pretty flower girl. And it’s not like she could blame him. The way a simple, sweet “hello,” or a warm, gentle hug from Aerith could make Tifa feel was…

Aerith had barely spoken a word to anyone since returning from the Temple. The only one who had managed to get a peep out of her had been Barret. After Cid had piloted the Tiny Bronco onto the Gongagan coast, Barret had sprung into Leader Papa Bear Mode, trying to piece together a sequence of events from everyone who had been there. When he got to Aerith, she turned to him, a polite restraint visible on her face. “I’m sorry, Barret,” she’d said, as calmly as she could, “But I really need some time to myself right now.”

And that had been that. Aerith had booked her own room at the inn, as far away from the rest of the party as she could get, and no one had seen her come out since. Even now, Tifa thinks about checking up on her, but doesn’t want to disturb her.

Tifa’s tired. She’s so, so tired. The hours tick by, but she keeps a steady routine; eyes trained on Cloud, the window, the door, back to Cloud. She has no clue how late it’s gotten. The only thing keeping her awake is the creaking of the hut under the light nighttime breeze. She knows she’s going to fall asleep in this chair soon, so she decides to take a late night walk before she succumbs. Just to clear her head, God willing. She gets up and heads out into the night. She doesn’t bother with her shoes.

The smell of the Mako is, predictably, even stronger out in the open air. A mixture of odors; blood and smog. Tifa shuffles along the dirt roads of Gongaga. She tries to keep the wreckage of the reactor out of her line of sight, but it follows her in her peripheral. There are precious few spots in town where the ruins can’t be seen. Tifa starts down the main road out of town.

Before long, the vast forest comes into Tifa’s view, and an expansive darkness is laid out in front of her. She ought not go any further. Venturing out into the wilderness, all alone, without her materia or her gloves? She shouldn’t chance it. Her companions had enough to deal with at the moment. Best not to worry them with her disappearance as well.

The clouds shift in the night sky above, and, as if on cue, the Gongagan cemetery is illuminated in the moonlight. The darkness is a canvas, and a picture is painted before Tifa’s eyes. Patches of soil in different shades of brown and grey. Flowers, in dozens of blues and yellows and reds and greens. Shadows cast by aging, cracked headstones. All washed out in a white light.

A figure. Long, brown hair loosely braided, all tied up in a red bow. A plain, pink dress. Eyes hidden behind closed lids that Tifa can see without seeing. Generations of loss and longing. Tifa’s own pillar of warmth, security, and childish love. _Aerith._

Tifa would be relieved to see the girl after hours of worrying if she weren’t so confused. What was she doing out here so late? She hadn’t heard anyone leave the inn. Tifa supposes Aerith would wonder the same thing about her. After all, if anyone had a good reason to want to step out of the cramped space of the inn, it was Aerith. Tifa finds herself approaching without thinking about what she should say. Luckily, she doesn’t have to. Aerith opens her eyes and turns toward Tifa. She looks startled, like she had been hoping not to be discovered here, but then she smiles.

“Oh. Hey, Tifa.” Aerith says. Her smile is polite, as always, but uncharacteristically disingenuous. Tifa can see that there’s something else hiding behind it. She supposes she understands why.

Tifa returns a tight lipped smile and forgets to greet her friend back. Instead, she says, “Couldn’t sleep?” She doesn’t mean to sound suspicious, but she’s afraid she does.

Aerith gives a half-hearted chuckle, looking away. “Something like that.” she responds. She then meets Tifa’s eyes again and asks, “How about you?”

“Same here.” Tifa says, lamely. God, she wishes she had thought of something, _anything_ to say. She’d never had this problem with Aerith before, despite the butterflies the other girl had always given her. But this time, it’s different. What could she possibly say that would feel right, or even _appropriate_ at this point? She studies Aerith’s face and sees the tear tracks, the slightly bloodshot eyes. She notices some light bruising along Aerith’s jawline and cringes. Suddenly, Aerith huffs out a laugh and awkwardly rubs at the bruising.

“Why, yes, I _have_ been crying on and off all night.” Aerith says, in good humor.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t-” Tifa trails off. This leaves Tifa at even more of a loss for words, but she settles clumsily on, “Are, um- are you okay?”

Aerith sighs. “No, not really.” she says, “But I’ll get there. We all will.” Tifa wants to press further, but Aerith looks at her, and it makes the answer feel good enough. For now. Aerith’s attention is drawn toward the town then. It’s too dark to see any of the huts from where they’re standing. “You’ve been by his side? All this time?”

Tifa wants to laugh. She wonders if the irony of that question is lost on Aerith. Aerith always had a way of doing this to her. Layering her words with multiple meanings. Tifa often wondered if she did it on purpose, or if it was just her own overthinking. She decides to give a straight answer. “I haven’t left his bedside since we dropped him off.” she says. Aerith smiles, seeming content.

“Good.” Aerith says, and continues with affected cheer, “I was worried he might not bounce back, but that shouldn’t be a problem with you around.” Tifa actually does laugh at this, though it sounds more like a scoff. Tifa observes the bruising along Aerith’s jaw again. _Had that been from Cloud?_ Tifa is struck with simultaneous guilt and relief. Guilt, again, over not having been there to stop it. Relief that Aerith hadn’t been seriously hurt, or worse.

“Here’s hoping.” Tifa says. A silence settles in between them. Not even a breeze can be heard. Tifa feels her exhaustion creeping up on her again. “Listen, why don’t we head back to the inn?” she suggests, “You can stay with me in Cloud’s room. Or we can go back to yours. If you want.” A moment passes and Tifa does not get an answer. It’s Aerith’s turn to be at a loss for words.

“Tifa…” Aerith starts. Her face is scrunched up in concentration. For some reason, she is visibly struggling to find her words. It was such an innocuous suggestion, Tifa wonders what she’s done wrong. Then, Aerith lets out a shaky breath, and a strong resolve overtakes her expression. She looks Tifa in the eye and says, “Tifa, I’m leaving.”

“You- what? You’re leaving?” Panic bubbles up in Tifa’s stomach for what feels like the hundredth time in the past several hours. _She’s leaving now? Of all times? By herself? Where could she possibly be going?_ It only then occurs to Tifa that Aerith has her materia slotted into her armlet. She looks to her left and sees the Princess Guard leaning against the rickety fence of the cemetery. Aerith looks at Tifa like her panic is written all over her face. It probably is. Aerith’s resolve doesn’t budge.

“There’s something that needs taking care of. Something that I need to do, by myself. I was honestly hoping that it would be all of us kicking ass together, right up until the end.” Aerith giggles at her own small obscenity. She smiles at the ground. “But, no.” she continues,”This is just something that needs to be done. It might be our only shot at stopping Sephiroth.”

And there it is. That name. _Sephiroth._ How many lives can one man destroy? How many times is he going to take every single important thing away from Tifa? This only makes Tifa want to protest more.

“Aerith, you- listen to me, I can’t let you go off on your own. Please, just let me go wake up Barret, or Cid, hell, even _Vincent_ and we’ll go with you wherever-”

“Tifa.” Aerith grabs Tifa’s wrists. She hadn’t even realized how wildly she had been gesturing. Aerith’s soft hands placate her, like they always do, allowing her to steady her breathing. Aerith fixes her with a sympathetic gaze. “I’m sorry. I can’t let you come with me. I need to do this alone. You- you can’t help me this time.”

Tifa shifts, and her hands find Aerith’s. Aerith’s grip is gentle, yet firm. Tifa feels like she’s holding on for dear life in comparison. “Can’t you at least tell me where you’re going?” Tifa asks, somewhat less frantically, “What you’re doing?” Aerith lets out another one of her signature giggles, pure and truly genuine this time.

“I’m the last of a dead race, Tifa. You’ve gotta let the Cetra keep _some_ of our secrets.” Aerith is rubbing comforting circles with her thumbs across the back of Tifa’s hands, and the will to argue is completely drained out of her. “Besides, when our boy Cloud wakes up tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll know just what to do.” Tifa has no earthly clue what this is supposed to mean, but Aerith just winks at her, and Tifa doesn’t ask questions. “Trust me.” And Tifa does. She really, truly does. She looks into Aerith’s bright, green eyes, watches her lips quirk into an encouraging smile, and she feels like she could melt in her hands.

“Okay.” Tifa says, softly. Aerith nods and lets go of her hands, and Tifa figures that’s it. There’s nothing left to be said. Aerith will shoulder her staff and disappear into the forest, and Tifa’s brain will poison itself with anxiety until they see each other again. This doesn’t happen. Instead, Aerith turns to look at one of the headstones at her feet and just stands there.

“You know, I’m actually pretty happy you caught me here.” Aerith says, “I wanted to stop here before I left town. To ‘listen to the cries of the Planet’, as it were.” Tifa remembers Cosmo Canyon. Bugenhagen. The apparatus. Learning about the Lifestream and the Planet’s spirit energy. Still, she cocks her head in confusion. She’s unsure why Aerith is bringing this up now. Then, Aerith chuckles and continues, “No, that’s not quite it, actually. I wanted to listen to their voices. The people who lost their lives here.” Aerith sits then, careful not to situate herself atop someone’s grave. She looks up at Tifa and pats the spot next to her. Tifa joins Aerith on the ground, sitting beside her. “Will you stay? Just for a while?”

“Of course.” Tifa tells her. Aerith beams at her, and, before Tifa can process it, Aerith’s head is lying snugly in the crook of Tifa’s neck. Aerith sighs in content and Tifa can feel all of her joints stiffen. Her face heats up and she imagines how red it must be. Her pulse quickens. She hopes Aerith is too distracted to notice any of this. After a moment of adjustment, Tifa finds herself relaxing into the beautiful girl next to her.

“You can feel them everywhere if you concentrate hard enough.” Aerith says, her voice just above a whisper now, “In the rustling of the leaves. The smell of the Mako. Especially in the earth beneath us.” Tifa knows she can never hope to be in touch with the Planet’s energy to the extent that Aerith is. She closes her eyes and tries to humor her all the same. “It hurts me to think that, if that reactor were still here, they’d all be lost forever. They’re encouraging me. They remind me of what we’re all fighting for. For their life energy, and their families who still survive.”

“For us, too.” Tifa adds, “For _our_ family.” Aerith looks up at her fondly and smirks.

“Right on the money, Lockhart.” she says. Tifa feels herself blushing again and has to duck her head. Aerith shuts her eyes and hums. “Thank you for staying.”

“Anything for you, Gainsborough.” Tifa almost cringes at the way her friend’s last name rolls off her tongue. It doesn’t feel as effortlessly flirty as it sounds coming from Aerith. But at least she’s trying. It elicits a giggle out of Aerith anyway.

“Would you believe I’m actually kind of scared to go?” _You don’t have to go,_ is the first thing that pops into Tifa’s head. _I can scoop you up right now and bridal carry you back to the inn. I can wrap you up in a blanket and hold you all night long until all the fear and all the pain melts away, and we’d never have to think about Sephiroth, or Meteor, or the Black Materia, ever again. We can just have each other._ Tifa feels like these thoughts are going to make her convulse. She has to play it off, and fast.

“I would never.” Tifa says playfully, “You? Scared?” The girls both laugh at this, maybe a little harder than they should. Tifa does _not_ want to be having this conversation, but Aerith goes on.

“Don’t worry, I have every intention of coming back. After everything we’ve been through, I can’t just abandon you now.”

“Yeah. You and I…” Tifa trails off.

“Mhm. All of us.” Tifa tenses slightly at this response, realizing what she’s just said.

“Agh, right. Of course.” _Idiot._ Tifa is half expecting Aerith to tease her, but she doesn’t. They just settle into another silence, this one much more comfortable. They remain snuggled up to one another, and Tifa feels as though they’re breathing as one. A little while longer, and Aerith breaks the silence once again.

“How do you think things would have played out if we had never met?” she asks, “Would the Planet be _doomed?”_ She wiggles her fingers dramatically. Tifa giggles, but then she pauses to think. She starts rearranging her life’s events in her mind. She imagines all the things she could have been. All the places she could have ended up. All of the tragedy that could have been avoided. And yet, she can’t bring herself to regret a single decision, a single moment of pain, or despair, or heartbreak, that brought this incredible woman sitting beside her into her life.

Tifa remembers setting out from Kalm and arriving at Choco Bill and Choco Billy’s Chocobo Farm. She remembers Aerith’s pure, unadulterated delight at seeing so many chocobos in one place. How her face had lit up even more upon learning that they would have to catch one to ride across the marshes.

“I have loved chocobos since I was a little girl, but I’ve never gotten to ride one!” she had said to Tifa then. Tifa had given her a cocky grin, knowing a thing or two on the subject.

“You’re riding with me, then. I happen to be something of a chocobo expert.”

“Tifa had her chocobo phase around eleven or so.” Cloud had quipped from a few feet away.

“Oh, hush!” Tifa spat back, playfully swatting in his direction. Aerith could hardly contain her giggling. When they finally caught their chocobo, Aerith had held onto Tifa the entire ride, and Tifa had to remind herself to breathe.

She remembers herself and Aerith, tipsy on the beach at Costa del Sol. She remembers the way they’d tripped over each other while running along the shore, Aerith landing on top of her. Aerith had laughed into Tifa’s neck while Yuffie teased them from afar. “Grossness! Get a room!” the young ninja had shouted.

Aerith had craned her neck around and shouted back, “We’ve already got one!” while rolling her hips. Yuffie had made a show of retching before leaving them be. Tifa had laughed much too hard in an attempt to hide her embarrassment.

She remembers standing beside Aerith in Bugenhagen’s apparatus at Cosmo Canyon. The way Aerith’s face had been completely overtaken with awe as she took in the knowledge of the universe. She had gripped Tifa’s wrist with one hand, while stroking Nanaki’s fur with the other. Tifa doesn’t think she’ll ever forget the silent tears streaming down Aerith’s face when Bugenhagen demonstrated the flow of the Lifestream. The natural cycle of life and death on this planet. The energy harnessed by the Cetra.

Most importantly of all, Tifa thinks of Marlene. Her ray of sunshine. She remembers helping Barret change the little girl’s diapers. She sees her running around the kitchen at the back of the bar. She sees her chasing kittens around Sector 7 with her best friend, Betty. She can hear her giggles, Barret peppering kisses all over her face after reuniting with her at Elmyra’s house. These cherished memories flash in Tifa’s mind, and she thinks of how unbearable they would be to recall if Aerith hadn’t been there to save Marlene’s life.

Memories are cycling over and over in Tifa’s mind, and she tries to pinpoint the exact moment that she fell in love with this woman. She thinks that maybe it’s not so simple. That maybe this love has silently been fostering and growing between the two of them since the moment they met. After everything she’s been through, Tifa thinks it might be the realest thing she’s ever known.

Tifa snaps back to the present, and finds that her eyes are glassy with tears. Aerith is looking at her expectantly. Tifa takes a sharp breath in. “If we had never met,” she starts, “I wouldn’t have a family.” Aerith’s eyes soften at this. Tifa doesn’t think she has enough time to explain all the ways she means this, but she tries. “I wouldn’t have this amazing group of people to laugh with every day. To support. To share in each other’s pain. We would have lost Marlene. Hell, I don’t even know if any of us would have made it out of Sector 7 alive. I’m just...I’m so happy I have you, Aerith.”

Tifa manages to contain her tears through all of this, but she can tell Aerith sees right through her. Tifa can almost see the reflection of her own broken face looking into the other girl’s eyes. “Hey, come here.” Aerith whispers, and swiftly takes Tifa into her arms. They’re fully wrapped up in each other in the dirt. Tifa can’t tell who is shaking; herself, Aerith, or both. But no tears have spilled. Tifa knows that they’re both trying to be strong.

“Thank you.” Tifa says into Aerith’s shoulder. She doesn’t fully know why she even says this, but she hopes it’s enough. Aerith puts some distance between them, but their faces are close. Aerith fixes Tifa with an intense gaze.

“I have to play my part in all of this.” she enunciates, “And _when_ I come back, we are _all_ going to take Sephiroth on, once and for all, together. We’re going to protect this planet, and the Lifestream, and all life that has ever been, and ever will be.” She pauses. “I want the stars to see how hard we’re fighting for them. Okay?”

The urge to object is rising within Tifa’s chest again. Her mind is running in circles, and it’s saying _I love you, be with me, please stay._ Her breathing is uneven and her heartbeat is racing, but she makes no effort to control them. The only thing that matters right now is making sure Aerith doesn’t leave her. To will her to stay, somehow.

Maybe if Tifa could just give the love that she knows is between them a voice, it would be enough to make Aerith stay. Just one sweeping proclamation of her love, and they would be magically teleported to their happy ending. Their faces are still so close together. Maybe she doesn’t even need words. Maybe just one kiss would be enough. Whatever it takes. Tifa feels the impulse to act on her emotions without thinking about it. _For once in your pathetic life, Tifa Lockhart, be honest with someone. Just say what you feel inside. Just this once._

The impulse passes as quickly as it comes, and with it goes her momentum. Tifa is flattened back down to earth, and she relents. She just nods, and says, “Okay.” Aerith smiles and nods back.

The two girls help each other up. Tifa feels (and hears) the joints in her knees pop. She has no idea how long they’ve been sitting there like that. Aerith gives Tifa a sheepish smile before wrapping her in a tight embrace. Tifa quickly returns it.

“Thank you, Tifa. For being here with me tonight.” Aerith punctuates this statement by placing a kiss on top of Tifa’s head. Tifa thinks her brain has just sent out a signal to her entire body to deactivate on the spot. But Aerith breaks the embrace, and Tifa is still there. “I’ll see you soon.” Aerith says. And then she turns to go.

Tifa feels the tears welling up again, but she will not cry. Not while Aerith is still in her view. She has to say something. She has to show Aerith she is going to be strong for her while she’s gone. Tifa calls out, “Don’t look back!” and Aerith raises her hand to let her friend know that she’s been heard. Tifa watches Aerith’s every step until she is no longer illuminated by the moonlight. The flower girl disappears into the darkness.

Tifa lets go. She chokes out a sob, and her tears spill into the earth beneath her bare feet. She can’t bring herself to move for some time. She just stays there, endlessly berating herself for ruining everything, _again._ She can’t help her childhood friend. She can’t be honest with her new family. She can’t express her feelings to the woman she loves. She feels worthless. Disgusting. Good for nothing Tifa Lockhart.

She doesn’t know what ungodly hour it is by the time she can move her legs again. She’s lost track of time so many times tonight, she’s surprised the sun isn’t rising yet. She pads down the empty dirt roads of Gongaga, hiccupping pathetically all the way back to the inn. The ruins of the old reactor come back into her view and she feels like she could vomit.

She stands in one spot for a moment, morbidly transfixed on the wreckage. She’s dreading having to talk to her comrades tomorrow morning. She’s dreading having to face Cloud. She doesn’t know what she should tell any of them. She feels like all she can do is wait for Aerith to save the day and come back to them.

_Aerith…_

Tifa sees the first signs of sunlight coming up over the ruined reactor and she feels a new resolve wash over her. When this is all over, when the threat facing the Planet has perished, Tifa is finally going to talk to Aerith about every little feeling she has kept inside. She’s scared, and she’s guarded, but she decides, here and now, that that is not going to hinder her anymore. When her Aerith comes back to her, Tifa can rest easy.

Tifa turns her back on the ruined reactor, takes her last few steps back to the inn, and she doesn’t look back.

**Author's Note:**

> me? gongaga


End file.
